![]() You’re left feeling dazed and confused, not knowing which end is up. Result: You become emotionally punch drunk. This maneuver is a defense mechanism called projective identification. She may also pick fights to keep you engaged or as a way to get you to react to her with hostility, so that she can accuse you of being abusive and she can play the victim. She may deliberately start arguments and conflict as a way to avoid intimacy, to avoid being called on her bullshit, to avoid feeling inferior or, bewilderingly, as an attempt to avoid being abandoned. She gets a charge from the adrenaline and drama. Don’t feel ashamed to admit it.Ħ) Constant Chaos. It’s a healthy sign to be afraid of this behavior. Because you can’t predict her responses, you become hypervigilant to any change in her mood or potential outburst, which leaves you in a perpetual state of anxiety and possibly fear. You’re being traumatized by her behavior. Result: You’re constantly on edge, walking on eggshells, and waiting for the other shoe to drop. It’s like walking through a landmine in which the mines shift location. Telling you one day that something’s alright and the next day that it’s not is emotionally abusive behavior. On Wednesday, the same behavior is “disrespectful, insensitive, you don’t love me, you’re a self-important jerk, you’re a workaholic.” By Friday, it could be okay for you to do it again. For example, on Monday, it’s ok for you to check work email on your phone in front of her. She reacts differently to you on different days or at different times. It’s crazy-making behavior that leaves you feeling confused, bewildered, and helpless.ĥ) Unpredictable responses. Result: Her gaslighting behavior may cause you to doubt your own sanity. However, don’t doubt your perception and memory of events. If the woman you’re involved with is prone to Borderline or Narcissistic rage episodes, in which she spirals into outer orbit, she may very well not remember things she’s said and done. You may even begin to believe the horrible things she says to you.ĪLSO SEE: 7 Things A Narcissist Can’t FeelĤ) Gaslighting. Result: Your self-confidence and sense of self-worth all but disappear. Verbal assault is another form of bullying, and bullies only act like this in front of those whom they don’t fear or people who let them get away with their bad behavior. for a 50-cent version of name calling), criticizing, threatening, screaming, yelling, swearing, sarcasm, humiliation, exaggerating your flaws, and making fun of you in front of others, including your children and other people she’s not intimidated by. She employs schoolyard name calling, pathologizing (e.g., armed with a superficial knowledge of psychology she uses diagnostic terms like labile, paranoid, narcissistic, etc. You feel powerless and defeated because she puts you in no-win situations.ģ) Verbal attacks. Result: You’re constantly criticized because you’re not able to meet her needs and experience a sense of learned helplessness. No one will ever be enough for her, so don’t take it to heart. She has an endless list of demands that no one mere mortal could ever fulfill.Ĭommon complaints include: You’re not romantic enough, you don’t spend enough time with me, you’re not sensitive enough, you’re not smart enough to figure out my needs, you’re not making enough money, you’re not FILL IN THE BLANK enough.īasically, you’re not enough, because there’s no pleasing this woman. No matter the inconvenience, she comes first. She expects you to drop whatever you’re doing and attend to her needs. No matter how hard you try and how much you give, it’s never enough. You develop a case of Stockholm Syndrome, in which you identify with the aggressor and actually defend her behavior to others.Ģ) Unreasonable expectations. Result: You lose your self-respect and feel outnumbered, sad, and alone. People with a Narcissistic personality are often bullies. It makes her feel powerful to make you feel bad. She uses verbal assaults and threats in order to get you to do what she wants. ![]() She wants to control you and resorts to emotional intimidation to do it. ![]() If she doesn’t get her way, there’s hell to pay. Do you recognize any of the following behaviors?ġ) Bullying. If you use words like this to describe your relationship, odds are you’re being emotionally abused. They describe the relationship and their wife using other terms like crazy, emotional, controlling, bossy, domineering, constant conflict, or volatile. Most men don’t want to admit that they’re in an abusive relationship. If so, you’re probably involved with a woman who is an emotionally abusive bully. Does your wife yell, scream, and swear at you? Do you feel like you can’t talk to anyone about your relationship because they just wouldn’t understand? Is your relationship making you feel like you’re slowly going crazy?
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